Donna Foot on Aborting Jimmy Savile's Child

The speaker shares her experience of being pregnant and discovering that Jimmy, who had made her feel special, does not like children and never wants to marry. She expresses her disgust and shame as she realizes the truth about their relationship, feeling as if she has woken up from a nightmare.

In what way does the speaker feel about being treated as a special woman?

What metaphor does the speaker use to describe their emotional state?