Revise Draft to Improve Sentence Structure

12. What change should be made in sentence 6?

• Insert he was after Cody
• Insert a comma after Cody 
• Change renowned to renownned
• No change should be made. 

13. How should sentence 9 be changed? 

• Change noticed to notices 
• Change for to it was for
• Change pony express to Pony Express
• Sentence 9 does not need to be changed. 

14. What change should be made in sentence 15? 

• Insert a comma after Buntline
• Change made to making 
• Change their to his 
• No change should be made. 

15. What change should be made in sentence 17? 

• Change Part to It was part
• Delete the comma
• Change pageant to pagent
• Change Americas’ to America’s

16. What is the correct way to write sentences 30 and 31?

• When the Wild West Show disbanded just before World War I, it was declared the most successful traveling show of all time.
• The Wild West Show disbanded just before World War I. Having been declared the most successful traveling show of all time. 
• The Wild West Show disbanded just before World War I, at that time it was declared the most successful traveling show of all time.
• The sentences are written correctly in the paper.

17.  What change should be made in sentence 3? 

• Change years to year’s 
• Change good to well
• Change achieve to acheive 
• No change should be made in sentence 3

18. What change should be made in sentence 7? 

• Change the comma to a period
• Change set to setted
• Change determined to determinned
• No change should be made in sentence 7

1. What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 3? 

• But it wasn’t often that a news story about a cow was so remarkable that it made national headlines for a week, so the problem-solving skills of people all over the country were engaged. 
• But it wasn’t often that a news story about a cow was so remarkable that when engaged, it made national headlines for a week with the problem-solving skills of people all over the country. 
• But it wasn’t often that a news story about a cow was so remarkable that it made national headlines for a week and engaged the problem-solving skills of people all over the country. 
• No revision is needed in sentence 3.

2. What is the most effective way to combine sentences 7 and 8? 

• Afterward Grady became upset and ran toward the nearest source of light, probably thinking it was an exit from the barn. 
• Afterward Grady, who became upset and ran toward the nearest source of light, probably thought it was an exit from the barn. 
• Afterward Grady became upset because she probably thought it was an exit from the barn and ran toward the nearest source of light. 
• Afterward Grady became upset and ran toward the nearest source of light, she probably thought it was an exit from the barn.

3. Sentence 12 lacks clarity. What is the best way to improve this sentence? 

•  Change When they to When Mach and the veterinarian 
• Change peered to glanced 
• Change they saw to he saw 
• Change looking out to staring