3. Wordiness

My mom cut the pizza into four quarters.

• My mom cut the pizza .
• The pizza was cut by my mom into quarters.
• My mom cut the pizza .
• My mom cut the pizza into quarters.

Music and laughter filled the room and the music was old rock music.

• Laughter filled the room and the music was old rock music.
• Music and filled the room and the music was old rock music.
• Old rock laughter and music filled the room.
• Old rock music and laughter filled the room.

The end result of her stubbornness was that she didn't get dessert.

• She didn't get dessert.
• The result was that she didn't get dessert.  
• Because of her stubbornness, she didn't get dessert.
• The result of her stubbornness was no dessert.

I am giving a test, but the test shouldn't be hard.  It's an easy test.

• I am giving a test. It's an esay test.
• I'm giving a hardly easy test.
• I am giving a test, but the test shouldn't be hard.
• I am giving an easy test.

I left on account of the fact that there were no seats.

• The fact is that there were no seats.
• I left because there were no seats.  
• On account of the fact that there were no seats, I left.
• I left.

When I joined the gym, I received a complimentary personal training session for free.

• I received a complimentary personal traning sesison.
• I received a complimentary training session at the gym.
• When joining the gym, a free training session was  my gift.
• For joining the gym, I received a free training session.

Jasper's twin sisters are exactly identical.

• Jasper's twin sisters are identically the same.
• Jasper's identical twins are exactly the same.
• Jasper's sisters are identical.
• Jasper's sisters are identical twins.