Understanding the Art of Saying No and Yes

Michelle Tillis Lederman discusses the discomfort of saying 'no' and how it can be reframed as a 'yes' to something else. She introduces the 'no, but' strategy to provide alternatives and maintain relationships. Additionally, she explains how to qualify 'yes' responses with conditions like 'yes, if', 'yes, after', 'yes, with', and 'yes, when' to manage expectations and timing.

What is the initial step to feel comfortable saying 'no'?

• Consider what you are saying 'yes' to instead.

• Think about the consequences of saying 'no'.

• Apologize before saying 'no'.

• Avoid saying 'no' altogether.

What is a recommended way to say 'no' while keeping future possibilities open?

• Say 'no, but...' and offer an alternative.

• Say 'no' and provide no explanation.

• Say 'no' and suggest someone else.

• Say 'no' and walk away.

How can 'no, but...' be used to maintain relationships?

• By suggesting a future opportunity for a 'yes'.

• By offering a direct refusal.

• By agreeing to everything.

• By ignoring the request.

What does the phrase 'no, but...' aim to achieve?

• A refusal with a suggestion for future possibilities.

• A complete refusal with no alternatives.

• A vague response.

• An immediate acceptance.

What is an example of qualifying a 'yes'?

• 'Yes, but only if you pay me.'

• 'Yes, if you can meet certain conditions.'

• 'Yes, but I don't really want to.'

• 'Yes, but I might change my mind.'

What does 'yes, after...' imply?

• You will do it after a specific event or time.

• You will do it immediately.

• You will do it only if someone else helps.

• You will never do it.

What is the purpose of using 'yes, with...'?

• To agree but delay indefinitely.

• To agree with the help of another person or resource.

• To agree without any conditions.

• To agree and then change your mind.

How does 'yes, when...' help in managing expectations?

• By refusing to commit to anything.

• By specifying a condition that needs to be met first.

• By providing a vague commitment.

• By agreeing to everything immediately.

What is a benefit of qualifying your 'yes'?

• It makes you seem indecisive.

• It leads to misunderstandings.

• It allows you to avoid commitments.

• It helps manage expectations and provides clarity.

Why is it important to qualify a 'yes'?

• To ensure you never have to follow through.

• To avoid making any commitments.

• To provide conditions that make the agreement feasible.

• To confuse the requester.