Editing and Revising Sentences

Revise this: The forest was very beautiful.

• The forest was enchanting.

• The forest made me very happy.

• Redwoods stretched from the dense, green foliage into the blue sky.

• The forest was big and majestic. There were trees everywhere.

Tags

CCSS.L.1.1F

CCSS.L.2.1E

Which of these details could best follow and support sentence 22?

• Though she had injured her ankle badly in the game, Hamm still managed to take control of the ball and pass it to a teammate who then scored the winning goal.

• Hamm held a record for the most international goals until June 2013, when her record was broken by another American, Abby Wambach.

• For 17 years Hamm played with and often led the U.S. Women's National Soccer Team and she was U.S. Soccer's Female Athlete of the Year from 1994 to 1998.

• Hamm received another great accolade in 2004, when she was included on a list of the 125 Greatest Living Soccer Players.

Ms. Keller wants to add a quotation that will help support the idea presented in sentence 16. Analyze the quotations below. Which of these would be the most effective to insert after sentence 16?

• One state official noted, "It's the same as giving the key to your house to a burglar."

• The founder of Facebook once said, "When you give everyone a voice and give people power, the system usually ends up in a really good place."

• "Our head of social media is the customer," said a spokesperson for one well-known company.

• "We're all social creatures," one magazine states.

Tags

CCSS.RI.6.1

CCSS.RI.7.1

CCSS.RI.7.8

CCSS.RI.8.8

CCSS.RL.7.1

What is the best way to combine these sentences?
The girl was little.
She pressed her nose against the window.
The window was icy.
She giggled with delight.
She had never seen snow before.

• The girl was little as she pressed her nose against the icy window, and giggled with delight because she had never seen snow before.

• The little girl pressed her nose against the icy window and giggled with delight because she had never seen snow before.

• Because the little girl pressed her nose against the icy window, she giggled with delight at the never-before seen snow.

• Because, the little girl pressed her nose against the icy window, she giggled with delight at the never-before seen snow.

Tags

CCSS.L.2.1F

CCSS.L.3.1H

CCSS.L.3.1I

CCSS.L.5.1E

CCSS.L.7.1B

What is the best way to combine the following sentences: 
Carla, and Bob weren't paying attention to the teacher.
They couldn't do their homework.

• Carla and Bob weren't paying attention to the teacher, so they couldn't do their homework.

• Carla and Bob weren't paying attention to the teacher.

• They couldn't do their homework. They weren't paying attention to the teacher.

• When Carla and Bob couldn't do their homework, they gave their attention to the teacher. 

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1I

CCSS.L.4.2C

CCSS.L.5.1E

CCSS.L.7.1B

CCSS.L.9-10.2A

What is the best way to combine the following sentences:
Willie liked the puppy he saw at the pet store.
He plans on buying it tomorrow.

• Willie liked the puppy he saw at the pet store and plans on buying it tomorrow.

• Willie liked the puppy he saw at the pet store and plans on buying the puppy. 

• Willie liked the puppy he saw at the pet store, plans on buying it tomorrow.

• The pet store let Willie buy the puppy. 

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1I

CCSS.L.4.2C

CCSS.L.5.1E

CCSS.L.7.1B

CCSS.L.9-10.2A

The following sentence pair should be combined to make a better sentence. Which is the best revision? 
The bicycle tire is flat. The bicycle tire is on the bike. 

• The bicycle tire is on the bike and the bicycle tire is flat.

• The flat bicycle tire is on the bike.

• On the bike, the bicycle tire there is flat.

• The tire on the bicycle is flat.

Tags

CCSS.L.11-12.3A

CCSS.L.7.1C

Which of the following is a correctly punctuated complex sentence?

• After, I got home from school, I walked the dog, put away laundry, and finished my homework.

• After I got home from school, I walked the dog, put away laundry, and finished my homework.

• After I got home from school I walked the dog, put away laundry, and finished my homework.

Tags

CCSS.L.2.1F

CCSS.L.3.1H

CCSS.L.3.1I

CCSS.L.5.1E

CCSS.L.7.1B

What is the best way to combine the following sentences: 
Mike has a new job, and he starts next week.
Sue has a new job, and she starts next week.

• Mike has a new job, and he starts next week.

• Mike and Sue have new jobs.

• Mike and Sue have new jobs, and they start next week.

• Mike and Sue must start their new jobs soon. 

Tags

CCSS.L.1.1C

CCSS.L.3.1A

CCSS.L.3.1F

CCSS.L.3.1H

CCSS.L.3.1I

Choose the option that best combines all of the information contained in the sentences below:
Our car broke down.
We called a tow truck.
We had it towed to Toronto.

• When our car broke down we had to call a tow truck to have it towed to Toronto.

• We had to call a tow truck when our car broke down.

• A tow truck from Toronto had to be called when our car broke down.

• We had to tow the car to Toronto.

Tags

CCSS.RI.6.3

CCSS.RI.7.3

CCSS.RI.8.3

CCSS.RI.9-10.3

CCSS.RL.5.3