English STAAR Revising and Editing

How should sentence 5 be changed?

(5) How is it possible that such a unique island came into existense?

• Change came to comes

• Change existense to existence

• Change the question mark to an exclamation point

• Sentence 5 should not be changed.

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 30?

(30) It is a place that deserves protection, a true Oasis of life.

• Change deserves to deserved

• Delete the comma

• Change Oasis to oasis

• No change should be made in sentence 30.

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 2?

• Change environment to enviroment

• Delete the comma

• Change your to you’re

• No change should be made in this sentence.

What change should be made in sentence 22?

• Insert a comma after day after day

• Change that to this

• Change am to was

• No change should be made in sentence 22.

Fatima realizes she has offered a weak thesis in this paper. Which of the following could replace sentences 1 and 2 and provide a more effective thesis statement for Fatima’s paper?

• Mia Hamm is an interesting and fun personality, and I am grateful for this opportunity to research her story. I think that as you read my paper, you will agree that she has added great energy to women’s sports in this country and also to sports around the world.

• Mia Hamm is one of the most celebrated female soccer players of all time and is an inspiration to young women everywhere. Her contributions to women’s soccer have had an unmistakable impact on the sport, both in the United States and internationally.

• There is a soccer player in this country that is clearly more talented than all the rest. Her name is Mia Hamm, and she is an outstanding player and a model athlete who works hard to make sure she is always setting an example for other athletes and for the world at large.

• If you don’t know Mia Hamm, you probably don’t know much. Many people say that she is the greatest soccer player of all time because she is so supremely committed to soccer and also to all that it means to herself and the other people of the world.

What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 14?

• And at the age of 17, she was playing for the University of North Carolina, she helped her team win four NCAA championships and broke many school records along the way.

• And at the age of 17, she was playing for the University of North Carolina and won four NCAA championships and breaking many school records along the way, which helped her team.

• And at the age of 17, she was playing for the University of North Carolina, which helped her team win four NCAA championships and breaking many school records along the way.

• And at the age of 17, she was playing for the University of North Carolina, where she helped her team win four NCAA championships and broke many school records along the way.

- "Re-seeing" paper as whole

- Focus on organization, audience, development, & support

- Looking at stronger thesis statements, transitions, and clarity

• Editing

• Revising

- Focus on individual words and sentences

- Word choice, spelling, grammar, punctuation

- Comes after proofreading

• Editing

• Revising

Answer the following question based on this paragraph: (1) Everyone has wants and needs that cost money. (2) Some people want the independence that comes with having a car, and some want the latest technology or the newest fashions. (3) Others need to help with the family finances. (4) Working during the school year might sound impossible because of school work and other activities. (5) Additionally, most students have three months without school, during which they could work. (6) Yet, since 1990, the number of teens with summer jobs has steadily declined year after year. (7) This means teens are not earning money for themselves and are not learning important life skills. (8) I plan to get a job this summer. Justine would like to use a more appropriate transition in sentence 5. Which of the following is the best replacement for Additionally?

• Therefore

• For example

• However

• Finally

What do you write in the thesis?

• What the quote from the prompt means

• Give examples

• Summarize

• Your answer/position on what the prompt is asking