Revising and Editing

What is the MOST effective way to revise sentence 2?

• Satoshi Tajiri developed the concept for Pokémon during his early years as a video game designer.

• During his early years, the concept for Pokémon was developed by Satoshi Tajiri, as a video game designer.

• Satoshi Tajiri as a video game designer during his early years developed the concept for Pokémon.

• The concept of Pokémon was developed by a video game designer, during his early years, Satoshi Tajiri.

Angela would like to add another detail to support the ideas presented in her second paragraph (sentences 5-8). Which sentence BEST follows and supports the information in sentence 5?

• Then as a teenager, he developed a passion for playing arcade games.

• Since he lived in a rural area of Japan, he was surrounded by nature.

• It was obvious that Tajiri had many interests and was naturally curious.

• In Japan, like in other countries in the world, there are millions of bugs.

Angela has used an inappropriate transition at the beginning of the sentence 7. Which transition should replace In other words in this sentence?

• However

• Secondly

• Even so

• In fact

Which sentence in the sixth paragraph (sentences 23–26) contains unnecessary information and should be removed?

• Sentence 23

• Sentence 24

• Sentence 25

• Sentence 26

The meaning of sentence 5 is unclear. Toby can improve this sentence by changing the image of him to the image of —

• Brice.

• his parents.

• the rescued.

• Ziggy.

What is the BEST way to combine sentences 17 and 18?

• The rescue had come just in time, they didn’t have enough water to make it much longer.

• The rescue had come just in time and didn’t have enough water to make it much longer.

• Since they didn't have enough water to make it much longer, the rescue had come just in time.

• The rescue, which had come just in time, didn’t have enough water to make it much longer.

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 4?

• Change there to they're

• Delete the comma after then

• Change assurence to assurance

• No change needs to be made in this sentence.

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 15?

• Insert a comma after "bowl"

• Change "there" to "their"

• Change "wasn’t" to "weren’t"

• No change needs to be made in this sentence.

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 42?

• Change Its to It's

• Delete the comma after okay

• Delete the quotation marks before He’s

• Sentence 42 does not need to be changed.

Where should Michael insert the sentence "Getting on the ski lift was not a problem, but getting off of the lift proved to be a challenge."?

• After sentence 6

• After sentence 8

• After sentence 9

• This sentence should not be added to this paragraph.