Revision and Editing 2013

Tyler would like to add the following detail to the second paragraph (sentences 9–12).

It was strange to see a cat riding on the subway.

Where should Tyler insert this sentence?

(9) Every Wednesday, my mother and I rode that same subway train. (10) We always got off at Eighth Street and walked to my piano teacher’s house. (11) On that winter’s day and every Wednesday for several months, a cat rode the same train we did. (12) He seemed to be by himself, with no one looking after him.

• After sentence 10

• After sentence 11

• After sentence 12

• This sentence should not be added to this paragraph.

Tags

CCSS.L.4.1F

What is the BEST way to revise sentence 19?

(18) One day I reached over and tried to pet him. (19) My mother shrieked about approaching strange animals and warned me. (20) The cat’s response wasn’t much better. (21) He hissed and jerked away, acting as if I had offended him.

• My mother shrieked about approaching strange animals that warned me.

• My mother shrieked. As she warned me about approaching strange animals.

• My mother shrieked about approaching strange animals, she warned me.

• My mother shrieked and warned me about approaching strange animals.

Tags

CCSS.L.4.1F

Which transition word or phrase could BEST be added to the beginning of sentence 23?

(22) Subway Cat and I never got very close to each other after that. (23) Over time we formed a sort of friendship. (24) I would stare at him. (25) He would stare at me. (26) Sometimes, as he was leaving the train, he would turn back, proudly flick his tail, and meow. (27) Our simple relationship continued until, one Wednesday, he just wasn’t there.

• Yet

• In the same way

• For Example

• Therefore

Tags

CCSS.L.1.1G

CCSS.L.3.1H

CCSS.L.5.1A

CCSS.L.5.1E

What is the BEST way to combine sentences 34 and 35?

(28) For several weeks Subway Cat was absent. (29) Then one day, near the subway station, I saw him. (30) I was sure it was Subway Cat, but he looked different. (31) His fur was groomed and fluffed, and he wore a glittering collar. (32) An equally flashy woman was leading him . . . on a LEASH! (33) Clearly, the cat now had a human master— and he didn’t look happy about it. (34) He turned his golden eyes toward me. (35) He almost looked embarrassed.

• He turned and his golden eyes toward me almost looked embarrassed.

• When he turned his golden eyes toward me, he almost looked embarrassed.

• Turning his golden eyes toward me, which almost looked embarrassed.

• He turned his golden eyes toward me, he almost looked embarrassed.

Tags

CCSS.L.4.1F

Tyler wants to add a closing sentence to his paper. Which sentence could BEST follow sentence 40 and help bring his paper to a close?

(36) I hoped that Subway Cat would come to enjoy his new life, but I missed seeing him on the train. (37) Then, just when I had stopped looking for him, there he was! (38) Subway Cat was alone, lying on his usual seat and licking his paws. (39) At Eighth Street he got up and headed for the door. (40) Then he looked back, flicked his tail, and stared straight at me.

• Subway Cat seemed happy to be on his own once again.

• He was the subway cat, and now he was worried about having to find his own food.

• He carted his silly little self straight to the door.

• And that is now the end of the story about the brave little subway cat I met one day.

Tags

CCSS.W.4.2E

CCSS.W.4.3E

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 4?

(3) First we took turns measuring and pouring the ingredients into a large mixing bowl. (4) When it was time to add the sugar, I grabed a canister that was full of something white. (5) It wasn’t labeled, but I was sure it was sugar.

• Delete the comma

• Change grabed to grabbed

• Change that to it

• No change should be made.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1D

CCSS.L.3.1E

CCSS.L.4.1B

CCSS.L.5.1.B-D

CCSS.L.5.1C

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 13?

(12) We slid several piping-hot cookies onto a plate. (13) Grinning from ear to ear, we brought are gift to Mom. (14) Her face lit up when she saw the treats we had made. (15) But when she took the first bite, her face wrinkled in disgust. (16) I wondered what was wrong with our birthday surprise.

• Change Grinning to Grining

• Change brought to brung

• Change are to our

• No change should be made in sentence 13.

Tags

CCSS.L.1.1B

CCSS.L.2.2C

CCSS.L.3.2D

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 24?

(22) Instead of sugar, I had used salt! (23) Although the homemade cookies looked delicious, they tasted horrible! (24) Mom, Chloe, and me all looked at one another. (25) Then we started laughing uncontrollably. (26) Mom laughed so hard that tears rolled down her cheeks.

• Delete the comma after Mom

• Change me to I

• Change looked to looking

• Sentence 24 should not be changed.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1A

CCSS.L.6.1A

CCSS.L.6.1C

CCSS.L.6.1D

How should sentence 28 be changed?

(27) I learned a couple of things that day. (28) First, if your going

to cook, you need to pay attention to the ingredients. (29) And to be

on the safe side, it’s a good idea to take a taste or two along the way.

(30) This can save you a lot of embarrassment later.

• Change your to you’re

• Change attention to atention

• Change ingredients to ingredient’s

• Sentence 28 should not be changed.

Tags

CCSS.L.2.2C

What change, if any, needs to be made in sentence 30?

(29) And to be on the safe side, it’s a good idea to take a taste or two along the way. (30) This can save you a lot of embarrassment later. (31) But more important than what I learned about cooking was the lesson I learned about giving. (32) Sometimes it really is the thought that counts.

• Change This to Which

• Change save to safe

• Change later to latter

• No change needs to be made in sentence 30.

Tags

CCSS.L.3.1A

CCSS.L.6.1A

CCSS.L.6.1C

CCSS.L.6.1D