Revising Practice

What is the most effective transition to add to the beginning of sentence 6?

• Even though

• In contrast

• Furthermore

• However

Kelly wants to add a more effective transition between the second paragraph (sentences 4–11) and the third paragraph (sentences 12–14). Which of the following sentences should be added before sentence 12 to help readers effectively transition from the second to the third paragraph?

• Using the snooze button can have a negative impact on a person’s health.

• Perhaps more serious, though, is how this sleepiness can affect a person’s mood.

• Sleepiness also may occur if the body’s circadian rhythm, or internal body clock, is disrupted.

• Interfering with the natural circadian rhythms is equally distracting.

Kelly has not used the most appropriate word in sentence 17. Which word best replaces changes?

• varies

• shifts

• controls

• decreases

Kelly is considering whether or not she should add the following supporting detail to the fourth paragraph (sentences 15–20):

"Experts suggest that feeling tired in the morning is sometimes a symptom of sleep deprivation."

Where could Kelly place this sentence?

• After sentence 16

• After sentence 17

• After sentence 18

• Kelly should not add this sentence to the paragraph.

TURN TO Coober Pedy: Underground City.

Anika has written a weak thesis statement for her paper. Which of the following can replace sentences 4 and 5 and serve as a more effective thesis for this paper?

• The people who live in Coober Pedy love their special little city. All of these people have made a decision to live in a unique way.

• It isn’t what you can see that makes this city amazing; it’s what you cannot see. There are 3,500 people who call Coober Pedy home, and almost all of them live and work under ground.

• Coober Pedy’s interesting history includes miners, people living under ground, very hot weather, and media attention. All of this put together makes Coober Pedy an interesting place to me

• It isn’t because it’s abandoned that Coober Pedy is fascinating; it’s because it only looks abandoned since people are really living under ground.

Anika has not used the most effective transition in sentence 8. Which of the following should replace After all in this sentence?

• Soon

• Instead

• Finally

• Otherwise

How should sentence 20 be revised?

• To enhance their surroundings, installing fake windows and decorative drapes helped some people.

• To enhance their surroundings, some people install fake windows and they also use decorative drapes.

• To enhance their surroundings, fake windows with decorative drapes are installed by some people to help them.

• To enhance their surroundings, some people install fake windows with decorative drapes.

Which of these ideas could best follow and support sentence 23?

• More than 150,000 people visit the small town each year, and a host of movies, including Kangaroo Jack, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, and Opal Dream, have been filmed there.

• Coober Pedy residents now make their livelihood in both the tourism industry and opal-mining industry, and this keeps most of the people working and able to provide for their families.

• Today the people in this town get the vast majority of their water from under ground from a source 24 kilometers away that has to be pumped in via an underground pipeline.

• Since February of 1915, many of the highest-quality opals in the entire world have been found in Coober Pedy; in fact, Coober Pedy is sometimes even referred to as the opal capital of the world.