OCT16 Revising

1

Grade 4 Read/Write

Teacher Facing
October 16, 2024

Unit 2: Contemporary Fiction

MRS Icons

2

Materials

Student

Teacher

● Student activity page
● Whiteboards
● RACER-C template( from the

previous lesson)

● Response Cards

● Slide Deck
●“RACER-C” anchor chart

●Extended Constructed Response Rubric -
Informational (B&W) (download as a Microsoft
Word document to view it correctly)

●Extended Constructed Response Rubric -
Informational (Color) (download to your
computer)

●Extended Constructed Response Checklist
(download to your computer and use page 3
for Informational)

●RACER-C Strategy

3

5

6

Read the following paragraphs. Then answer the questions.

77

Scientists have discovered that exercise can improve learning. More
blood is pumped to the brain when people exercise than when they
are still. This rise in blood flow makes the brain healthier. A healthy
brain helps students learn. A Dutch study found that children who
were active, or moved around a lot, earned better scores on math
and spelling tests than children who were not. Other scientists have
found that grades go up when students exercise for twenty minutes
at least three days a week.

Read the dictionary entry for the word pump.

Excerpt from “Keep Gym Class in School” used with permission from HMH © Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company

Gym class helps students in other ways as well. Moving around
keeps students healthy. It may even help them remain that way
later in life. Experts have found that people who are active are sick
less often than those who aren’t. Also, the heart beats faster when
someone walks, runs, or jumps rope. Doctors report that this makes
the heart stronger. Exercise also makes the lungs work harder,
which keeps them fit too. Exercise builds strong muscles and bones.
A strong body is likely to be a healthy body. Scientists have even
found a link between exercising and being in a good mood.

Read the dictionary entry for the word fit.

Excerpt from “Keep Gym Class in School” used with permission from HMH © Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company

1.Which definition most closely fits the way the word
pump is used in the text?

A.Definition 1
B.Definition 2
C.Definition 3
D.Definition 4

2. Which definition most closely fits the way the word fit is

used in the text?

A.Definition 1
B.Definition 2
C.Definition 3
D.Definition 4

fit /fit/ adjective
1. proper or acceptable
2. in good health

verb
3. to be the right shape for
4. to be proper for

pump /pəmp/ verb

1. to move as if using a pump
2. to take away fluid from by using a pump
3. to move with quick motions
4. to try hard to get information

Multiple Choice

Read the dictionary entry for the word fit.

Which definition most closely fits the way the word fit is used in the text?

• A

• B

• C

• D

Multiple Choice

Read the dictionary entry for the word pump.

1.Which definition most closely fits the way the word pump is used in the text?

• A

• B

• C

• D

8

Ⓡ ELA.4.11C revise drafts to improve sentence structure and word choice by adding, deleting, combining, and rearranging ideas for coherence and clarity.
OCT16
ELA 4.11E publish written work for appropriate audiences

Unit 2: Contemporary Fiction

LO: SWBAT revise drafts by deleting and
combining ideas for coherence and clarity to
publish written work.

DOL:

Given a text, students will correctly

revise drafts by deleting and combining ideas
for coherence and clarity to publish written
work in at least 4 of 5 questions.

9

Ⓡ ELA.4.11C revise drafts to improve sentence structure and word choice by adding, deleting, combining, and rearranging ideas for coherence and clarity.
OCT16
ELA 4.11E publish written work for appropriate audiences

Unit 2: Contemporary Fiction

Real World Connection
We all wish we could
delete a mistake or two or
three from our lives.

10

Ⓡ ELA.4.11C revise drafts to improve sentence structure and word choice by adding, deleting, combining, and rearranging ideas for coherence and clarity.
OCT16
ELA 4.11E publish written work for appropriate audiences

Unit 2: Contemporary Fiction
Hot Question: Explain
the writing process
using your own words.

11

revise
(noun)

coherent

(noun)

a stage in the writing

process where changes
are made to improve the

writing

Academic Vocabulary

clarity
(noun)

the quality of being clear;

easy to see, hear, or

understand

logically ordered

Match

Match the correct Academic Vocabulary to its definition.

• revise

• coherent

• clarity

a stage in the writing process where cha

logically ordered

the quality of being clear; easy to see,

• a stage in the writing process where cha

• logically ordered

• the quality of being clear; easy to see,

Open Ended

What is something important that you think should be coherent?

12

A conclusion different from an

introduction because …

How is a conclusion different

from an introduction?

13

Writing Process Reviewc

Planning

Drafting

Revising

Editing
Publishi

Publishing

● Determine

topic,
purpose, and
genre,
audience.

● Brainstorm

and
map/organize
ideas.

● Write a rough

draft.

● Include…
○ central idea

(informational
or claim/
argumentative)

○ text evidence
○ conclusion

● Improve

organization,
development
of ideas, and
word choice.

○ add
○ delete
○ combine
○ rearrange

● Proofread

and correct
any
mistakes.

● Check…
○ spelling
○ capitalizatio

n

○ punctuation
○ grammar

● Write or type

the corrected
final copy.

● Share with

audience/
readers.

14

Read the text “The View at the Zoo.” Based on the details in the
text, write a response to the following:

Explain how Sebastian's attitude towards Carlos changes
throughout their zoo visit.

Write a well-organized informational essay that uses specific
evidence from the article to support your answer.

Topic: Explain how Sebastian's attitude towards Carlos changes
throughout their zoo visit.

Purpose: Write a well-organized informational essay that uses
specific evidence from the article to support your answer.

Genre: Informational

Audience: Fourth Grade
students and teacher

Revising

● Improve

organization,
development
of ideas, and
word choice.

○ add
○ delete
○ combine
○ rearrange

“Informational Text” Anchor Chart from HMH – used with permission © Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company.

Why do you think

is important for
writers to delete
ideas, phrases, or

words to their

writings?

Writers may delete ideas,
phrase, or words from a piece of
writing to…

Revising: Deleting ideas, phrases, or words

Writers delete information to keep

their writing…

focused

engaged

powerful

concise

cohesive

clear

Slide

Last Saturday, I woke up early, which is unusual

for me because I usually sleep in until 8:00 AM on
weekends. The sun was shining brightly through the
curtains, and I could hear birds chirping outside. I
decided to have cereal for breakfast, so I poured
myself a bowl of my favorite kind. After breakfast, I
put on my cool red sneakers that I got for my birthday
last year and went outside to check the mail. While I
was out there, I noticed that our neighbor's dog was
barking loudly. Then I went back inside and decided to
read a book.

After deleting information that was not needed, does the

writer convey his message to the reader?

19

Combining Ideas

Writers put two sentences

together that have
connecting ideas

Example:
They choose the best apples. They bake a delicious pie at
Grandma Jane's house.

For

And

Nor

But

Or

Yet

So

Avoid choppy writing by using
coordinating conjunctions (FANBOYS).

When using conjunctions, you need a comma
before the conjunction.

They choose the best apples, and they bake a delicious pie at
Grandma Jane's house.

Slide

Isaac wrote a paper about his experience visiting the Burj Khalifa. Read
Isaac’s paper and look for any revisions he should make.

Burj Khalifa

(1) Isaac, a curious boy, visited the Burj Khalifa in Dubai with his

father. (2) Isaac's father wore a blue shirt that day. (3) The Burj Khalifa
is the tallest building in the world. (4) Standing at the base, he felt small
and tiny compared to its towering structure. (5) He felt excited as he
looked out at the big view of Dubai from the top. (6) Isaac marveled at
its height. (7) He enjoyed the stunning views from the top.

Multiple Choice

Isaac has included an extraneous sentence in the paragraph. Which sentence should be deleted from this paragraph?

• A

• B

• C

• D

Multiple Choice

Sentence 4 contains repeated information. What is the best way to revise the sentence?

• A

• B

• C

• D

Multiple Choice

What is the best way to combine sentence 6 and 7?

• A

• B

• C

• D

26

To View at

the Zoo

27

“To View at the Zoo” Vocabulary

Definition
Examples

Image
Synonyms

the desire to learn, know, or
take part in something (noun)

Carlos liked animals, so
Sebastian was surprised that
he was showing so little
interest.

● delight
● attentive
● notice

interest

28

Let’s Review!

Sebastian's feelings about his brother Carlos
change throughout the zoo trip from
frustration to understanding as he realizes
Carlos is enjoying the zoo in his own unique
way.

Eventually, Sebastian realizes that Carlos was
paying attention to the animals, just in his
own way. According to the text, “You were
paying attention to the animals, just not in the
way I was.” This shows that Sebastian has
changed to understanding of Carlos’s
behavior.

To conclude, Sebastian's attitude towards
Carlos changed throughout their zoo visit,
from frustration to understanding, as he
discovered his brother's unique way of
appreciating the animals through drawing.

At first, Sebastian notices that Carlos is more
interested in writing in his notebook than
observing the animals. The text states,
“Sebastian ached to scream, “Put that down
and pay attention to the animals!” This
demonstrates Sebastian’s frustration towards
Carlos because of his lack of interest.

Sebastian's attitude towards

Carlos shifts from frustration to

understanding during their zoo

visit. He was very frustrated with

Carlos. He realizes Carlos likes

the zoo. It’s different than he

expected.

Revising: Combining ideas

For

And

Nor

But

Or

Yet

So

Could we revise this

introduction by combining

ideas to improve the
writing? Absolutely!

Sebastian's attitude towards

Carlos shifts from frustration to

understanding during their zoo

visit. He was very frustrated with

Carlos. He realizes Carlos likes

the zoo, but it’s different than he

expected.

Revising: Combining Ideas

For

And

Nor

But

Or

Yet

So

Let’s try to
improve this

introduction by
combining ideas
that go together.

Sebastian's attitude towards

Carlos shifts from frustration to

understanding during their zoo

visit. He was very frustrated with

Carlos. He realizes Carlos likes

the zoo, but it’s different than he

expected.

Could we revise this

introduction by deleting

ideas that are

unnecessary to the

writing?

Revising: Deleting ideas, phrases, or words

Is there
repeated

information?

Is this

important for
the prompt?

It’s your Turn to Revise!

Improve your introduction by combining or deleting ideas,
phrases, or words.

It’s your Turn to Revise!

Improve your body paragraphs by combining or deleting ideas,
phrases, or words.

It’s your Turn to Revise!

Improve your conclusion by combining or deleting ideas, phrases, or
words.

35

Read the text “To View at the Zoo.” Based on the details in the text,
write a response to the following:

Explain how Sebastian's attitude towards Carlos changes
throughout their zoo visit.

Write a well-organized informational essay that uses specific
evidence from the article to support your answer.

Topic: Explain how Sebastian's attitude towards Carlos changes
throughout their zoo visit.

Purpose: Write a well-organized informational essay that uses
specific evidence from the article to support your answer.

Genre: Informational

Audience: Fourth Grade
students and teacher

Publishi

ng

● Write or type

the corrected
final copy.

● Share with

audience/
readers.

36

Time to Publish the Draft!

Sebastian's attitude towards Carlos changes during their
zoo visit. He thinks Carlos is wasting the trip and not
appreciating the animals.

Sebastian keeps trying to get Carlos interested in the
animals throughout their visit. He points out how the tiger
is like their cat at home.

Sebastian feels so frustrated that he wants to yell at Carlos
to put down the notebook. He doesn’t understand why
Carlos came to the zoo if he isn't going to pay attention.

In conclusion, he offers to take a picture while Carlos feeds
the giraffe. Sebastian now has an understanding of
Carlos’s behavior at the zoo.

Minimal
=
1

Is the organization
effective?

●Introduction

●Body develops
the central idea

●Conclusion

Limited
=
2

Is the evidence
specific, well chosen,
and relevant?
Is the expression of
ideas clear and
effective?

Basic
=
2

Development and Organization of Ideas

Is the central idea
clear and fully
developed?

Score:

1

Point

Minimal
=
1

38

Let’s Score Our ECRs!

39

Closing

40

DOL: Given a text,
students will
correctly revise
drafts by deleting
and combining ideas
for coherence and
clarity to publish
written work in at
least 4 of 5
questions.

10 MINUTE TIMER - COUNTDOWN TIMER (MINIMAL)

This 10-minute countdown timer is made for professional use and has some minimal sound effects in the last 5 seconds.

Demonstration of Learning