MP English Lesson 11

​Redundancy..English Bk. p. 163

11.1 Entrance Ticket

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Write a few sentences about what you had for your most recent lunch in the most flowery wordy, poetic, over-explanatory way that you possibly can. Then trade with a partner. Both of you will rewrite each other's sentences in the most basic and plain way possible without losing any meaning or information.​

Subject | Subject

Some text here about the topic of discussion

​11.2 Learning Targets

1. Effectively remove material in writing that is not concise.

2. Appropriately add needed information and clarify to writing.​

Subject | Subject

Some text here about the topic of discussion

Poll

Self-Assessment

Circle the number that corresponds to your confidence level in your knowledge of the subject before beginning the lesson. A score of 1 means that you are completely lost, and a score of 4 means you have mastered the skills.

• 1

• 2

• 3

• 4

​11.2 Quick Check

Redundancy - repeating words in an unnecessary way

Concise - providing necessary and accurate information in as few words as possible

• brief but thorough

• short and sweet but without losing meaning​

Subject | Subject

Some text here about the topic of discussion

​Concise vs Wordy

Sometimes, the answer options all have the same meaning and the same number of words, so it's difficult to choose based only on how short or informative they are. However, you should remember that sometimes the wrong answer choices simply sound bad. They are awkward to say. ​

Subject | Subject

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Multiple Choice

Teacher Example

Leather jackets, at once stylish and wild, edgy and refined, can be worn anywhere for various purposes, which makes them a perfect gift for anyone.

concise vs wordy?

• NO CHANGE

• which are edgy and they're refined

• as something refined can also come across as edgy

• having eddy also being refined

Multiple Choice

Teacher Example

Because what is inside the courtyard reflects the style outside, the architect was praised for his subtle, refined choices and the continuity throughout his work.

Which word choice is the most straightforward and clear? Which choices are too wordy?

• NO CHANGE

• at the exterior,

• on the opposite side,

• far out and beyond,

Multiple Choice

Teacher Example

The enormous luxury apartment complex with which the small office faces will soon create traffic and parking issues.

concise vs wordy?

• NO CHANGE

• that faces the small office

• toward the small office faces

• which the small office facing

Multiple Choice

You Answer....We Discuss

In many cases, the footage from the film can enhance the music that a viewer can hear.

Which answer did you choose? Why?

• NO CHANGE

• qualities that are musical in everyday life

• music heard

• music

Multiple Choice

You Answer...We Discuss

The bed was spacious enough for him to stretch out as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

Which answer did you choose? Why

• NO CHANGE

• reached, slowly drifting

• spread his arms, beginning to slowly drift

• slowly spread out to drift

Multiple Choice

You Answer...We Discuss

During the afternoon after that lunch, on a walk through the park, we had finally calmed down about the terrible service we'd received at the restaurant during lunch.

Which one did you choose? Why?

• NO CHANGE

• afternoon after that lunch before,

• afternoon as we left the restaurant,

• afternoon,

Multiple Choice

You Answer....We Discuss

As I listened to my music, all the problems I was facing began to fade away.

Concise vs Wordy?

• NO CHANGE

• away, like a wall between the past and the present.

• away, like a vessel heading towards the unknown.

• away, like a barrier that blocks the outside world.

Multiple Choice

You Answer....We Discuss

Watson knew that any unresolved arguments-and there were plenty--would be forgotten in time, and their friendship would remain the same.

Concise vs Wordy?

• NO CHANGE

• remain the same as it had in the past.

• in any case, remain the same.

• also stay the same.

Multiple Choice

Closure Question

Some musicians mail albums to our office with a tagline saying that their music will be the future of rock and roll; others may have been recorded badly. The record executives only care if they have a hit record on their hand.

• NO CHANGE

• don't seem to understand how many albums our staff have to listen to.

• only ask that we acknowledge that their music has some potential.

• come tous on a cheap plastic CD-R.

Poll

Self-Assessment

Circle the number that corresponds to your confidence level in your knowledge of the subject after the lesson. A score of 1 means that you are completely lost, and a score of 4 means you have mastered the skills.

• 1

• 2

• 3

• 4

​Independent Lesson

Answer the questions on pages 324-328 (1-15) of the student book. Record your answers on your Zipgrade sheet.​

Subject | Subject

Some text here about the topic of discussion