Revisions- Dialogue

Revisions- Dialogue

Open Ended

Write a short dialogue of a conversation that you had with someone recently. Format your dialogue like you'd see in a book.

Example:

"Do you mind playing a game or putting something up on the TV while I'm working?" Mx. Shelton asked Mr. Shelton.

"Is it okay if I play Rocket League again?" he asked in response.

"No, that's totally fine Just put on a different playlist so I don't have to listen to EDM." Mx. Shelton replied, laughing.

Objectives

By then end of class, we will be able to:

Practice identifying and implementing effective dialogue in a narrative

Continue revising rough draft into a second draft

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Some text here about the topic of discussion

Multiple Choice

What is dialogue?

• the way you write when you compare two things using like or as

• The way you write what a sound sounds like

• The way you write that two or more characters are talking

• The way you write a poem that rhymes

Open Ended

Why do you think authors use dialogue in their stories?

Open Ended

Why do you think adding dialogue strengthens a narrative (makes it sound better)?

​Example 1-

As Harry squelched along the deserted corridor he came across somebody who looked just as preoccupied as he was. Nearly Headless Nick, the ghost of Gryffindor Tower, was staring morosely out of a window, muttering under his breath about something. Harry said hello to Nick, who greeted him back.

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He wore a dashing, plumed hat on his long curly hair, and a tunic with a ruff, which concealed the fact that his neck was almost completely severed. He was pale as smoke, and Harry could see right through him to the dark sky and torrential rain outside.

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Nick told Harry that he thought he looked worried. Harry said the same thing to Nick, who said he was fine even though he didn’t get into a club he’d wanted.

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​Example 2-

As Harry squelched along the deserted corridor he came across somebody who looked just as preoccupied as he was. Nearly Headless Nick, the ghost of Gryffindor Tower, was staring morosely out of a window, muttering under his breath, ". . . don't fulfill their requirements . . . half an inch, if that . . ."

"Hello, Nick," said Harry.

"Hello, hello," said Nearly Headless Nick, starting and looking round. He wore a dashing, plumed hat on his long curly hair, and a tunic with a ruff, which concealed the fact that his neck was almost completely severed. He was pale as smoke, and Harry could see right through him to the dark sky and torrential rain outside.

"You look troubled, young Potter," said Nick, folding a transparent letter as he spoke and tucking it inside his doublet.

"So do you," said Harry.

"Ah," Nearly Headless Nick waved an elegant hand, "a matter of no importance. . . . It's not as though I really wanted to join. . . . Thought I'd apply, but apparently I 'don't fulfill requirements' -"

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Open Ended

What is the difference in the way the first passage feels versus the second passage? 

Why might people prefer to read the passage with dialogue over the passage without it?

Example 1

Filch grabbed a quill from a pot on his desk and began shuffling around looking for parchment.

"Dung," he said, "great sizzling dragon bogies . . . frog brains . . . rat intestines . . . I've had enough of it . . . make an example . . . where's the form . . . yes . . ."

He retrieved a large roll of parchment from his desk drawer and stretched it out in front of him, dipping his long black quill into the ink pot.

"Name . . . Harry Potter. Crime . . ."

"It was only a bit of mud!" said Harry.

"It's only a bit of mud to you, boy, but to me it's an extra hour scrubbing!" said Filch. "Crime . . . befouling the castle . . . suggested sentence . . ."

Dabbing at his streaming nose, Filch squinted unpleasantly at Harry who waited with bated breath for his sentence to fall.

But as Filch lowered his quill, there was a great BANG! on the ceiling of the office, which made the oil lamp rattle.

"PEEVES!" Filch said. "I'll have you this time, I'll have you!"

Example 2

Filch grabbed a quill from a pot on his desk and began shuffling around looking for parchment.

"Dung," he muttered furiously, "great sizzling dragon bogies . . . frog brains . . . rat intestines . . . I've had enough of it . . . make an example . . . where's the form . . . yes . . ."

He retrieved a large roll of parchment from his desk drawer and stretched it out in front of him, dipping his long black quill into the ink pot.

"Name . . . Harry Potter. Crime . . ."

"It was only a bit of mud!" said Harry.

"It's only a bit of mud to you, boy, but to me it's an extra hour scrubbing!" shouted Filch, a drip shivering unpleasantly at the end of his bulbous nose. "Crime . . . befouling the castle . . . suggested sentence . . ."

Dabbing at his streaming nose, Filch squinted unpleasantly at Harry who waited with bated breath for his sentence to fall.

But as Filch lowered his quill, there was a great BANG! on the ceiling of the office, which made the oil lamp rattle.

"PEEVES!" Filch roared, flinging down his quill in a transport of rage. "I'll have you this time, I'll have you!"

Open Ended

What is the difference between the two passages?

Open Ended

What information is do we get from the bolded portions of the second example that we don’t get from the first?

Open Ended

Come up with a list of 10 dialogue words (e.g. said, asked)

Open Ended

Write another piece of dialogue that you had recently. Use different dialogue words and add detail to how the people said things.

Your dialogue should have at least three turns (turn meaning when each person says something).

1. Log in to Google Classroom

2. Go to Classwork

3. Click on “Narrative- Second Draft”

4. Look through your narrative at all the sections you have written that are about characters talking, but do not show what they say (dialogue)

Rewrite those sections as dialogue, using the techniques we discussed today. Highlight your dialogue in red.

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Independent work time